sixtylilies: a gentleman looking bemused at 80s power woman cycling her legs because she missed spinning class. (kick kick kick kick)
[personal profile] sixtylilies

All right, so! Time to reveal our heir! As if you all couldn't guess since I'm a giant ball of favoritism more often than not.

Rozz: To spike, or not to spike?

Professor von Ball: Zis is not heir-like behavior!

Our heir really wants to be a werewolf.

Our heir has also never so much as seen a regular wolf in his life.

He can make perfect crepes suzettes, but burns chili! Promising.

Almond: Heh, I can write my name in the air with this thing!

Rozz: ...So I think I'll be sticking to things that I'm supposed to light on fire when it comes to serving meals.


Miss Pretty: Tell me the secret of the blue sparklies, glowing ones! You must know.

Miss Pretty: Tell me, and I shall allow you to live.

Bilquis: Master sculptors couldn't've given you a lovelier bust, my darling.

Tierney: Aww, you fooler.

Rozz: ...and to think I was worried about having to get a desk job, huh?

Valor: Heh, right? That was hilarious of you!

That is actually not how one hunts for a mate, you guys.

By the way: Valor's heir, too. I couldn't decide between them, so, dual heirs! I'm almost certain I'm going to regret this.

Rozz: Jenna is HOT!

No, we're not hooking you up with anyone surnamed 'Leelaporn', for god's sake. And Valor didn't see anyone, so this leg of the mate-hunting trip was a bust.

But at the bar in the strip mall, we see this ginger alien waiter. He's pretty cute.

Rozz: I concur. :">

But he's an NPC by game standards, so I don't think that's gonna happen, unfortunately. And Valor didn't see anyone, so we decide to go with the legacy standard of ~the matchmaker~.

Valor fills the time waiting for destiny to arrive by picking bananas.

Valor: It feels so good in my hand.

Bilquis: Lol!

Tierney: *lurks*

Uh. Who are you looking at, exactly, Tierney?

Meanwhile, the matchmaker (who needs default replacing, damn) calls up someone I would've never expected for Valor: Florence Alweather, previously of Tempus Fugit Asylum. After the end of the challenge, she and three others were townified and more or less forgotten, which means she's fair game!

For Rozz, she called up some jailbait, who was summarily dismissed because I don't need one of my heirs being arrested, thank you. But Valor and Florence hit it off!

Uh. Also, Florence is a Christmas elf, apparently.

After wasting about $20,000 on the matchmaker, she calls up this guy for Rozz. Rozz is unimpressed, but at least he can't get arrested for macking on him, so he tries.

Rozz: So, uh. Have you thought about maybe getting a makeover?

Rozz: Your look bores me.

He doesn't try very hard.

Rozz: So... uh... anyway... what turns you on?

Captain von Stink, who was indeed given a makeover: I'm really into smells, actually.

Captain von Stink: I had hoped you would smell a little worse...

After that failure of a date, Rozz kept rolling the want to call Sheldon, so I had him do so.

Rozz: Hey, baby, so how'd you like to marry into money?

Coming off a little bit desperate there, Rozz.

Meanwhile, Valor and Florence continue to hit it off. Three bolts! I hardly ever get three bolters, for some reason, even with matching turn-ons and such. Admittedly, Rozz is Romance and has the massive attraction bonus.

Romance/Family, in fact, since he's an heir and all my heirs must be part Family. He's a conflicted kid, I guess.

Aw, come on, I know you don't have a double bed of your own yet but that's your parents' bed!

Rozz: *buries his loneliness in ~song~*

Florence: *flips through Sex for Dummies*

Florence moves in, because I love Florence and so does Valor.

What was once Eudora and Nicole's bedroom has been madeover into heir couple number one's room.

I don't usually take these sort of pictures. idk why I did this time.

I guess to contrast Rozz, still sleeping alone in his childhood bedroom.

That fuckin plaque. Florence's one accomplishment from her time in Tempus Fugit.

Uh oh. Guess the Fritters are on the naughty list this year.

Oh, I see. "Games".

Rozz: *can't wait to add someone to the family!*

Valor: Mm. Hot damn. These eggs are good eggs. Aren't these good eggs?

Florence: Eh. I'd rather be eating grilled cheese.

Dulcinea, over the phone: Hi, Nana Almond! It's Dolly!

Almond: Who?

Sheldon: Though you may find this hard to believe, I am in fact from space.

Rozz: I will believe anything that comes out of that gorgeous mouth, honestly.

He walked by randomly, and Rozz somehow sensed him and ran out to greet him.

Florence: *relaxes on her new bed*

...while Tierney tries to help her fit in. Welcome to the family, Florence.

Valor tries to help her fit in another way.

Almond: WHOOSH, up with the kitty!

Miss Pretty: Just a few more seconds of this shittery and the blue sparklies will be dust 'twixt my paws.

Valor and Florence are all set, but there's still the matter of Rozz, so we summon up the matchmaker once again.

You said that last time, too, and yet all we got was jailbait four times and then Captain von Stink.

Rozz: It feels so good in my mouth!

Honey, I know you're sexually frustrated, but hang on to your dignity.

Matchmaker: Sup.


Sweetie, no, he's an NPC. The game won't let you have him. :(

Instead we get this fine gentleman.

Matchmaker: NOW KISS O__O

Rozz: But he's not Sheldon :<

He's what we've got, so make the best of it.

Rozz: *sigh* Fine... so, do you like lube?

Hair Gel von Maxisclothes: Lube comes from factories. Factories are poisoning the earth. I don't like factories. Nor do I like lube.

...I wouldn't sleep with him, Rozz.

Matchmaker: This wall... is granite.

This is not the best date Rozz has ever had, I think.

Hair Gel von Maxisclothes: I had hoped you would be a little more fun.

Rozz: I had hoped you would be a little more Sheldon.

So then I felt bad, and did some dark acts of necromancy with the Tombstone of L&D, and bent space and time to allow their epic love.

And then they instantly did this. No NPC-ship shall stand in the way of their love.

This, by the way, is heir master bedroom #2. It doesn't get much more decorated than this, because by this time I was out of ideas for how to redecorate the same damn room.

Sheldon: I hear Google stock is still on the rise.

Rozz: What a coincidence. My boner is also on the rise.

Ngl, I cheered a little at this. I regret nothing.

Nice try, except that that is clearly not Bilquis.

Tierney: I will have to tell Bilquis about this fascinating book here.

Florence: *zones*

Why, game? Why are you like this?

Tierney: *is totally just here for the soup. Totally.*

No wonder she likes Florence. They can zombie mouth-breathe while they gaze lovingly, yet emptily, into each other's eyes...

Take a good look, Sheldon, it's your future family.

Valor makes that shit official!

Damn, Sheldon, what kind of bar was that?

I don't know if Almond and Miss Pretty exactly like each other, but there's definitely mutual respect. They are the two ruling matriarchs, after all.

Madeover Sheldon.

Florence: Aw, come on, it'll be just like taking your temperature!

Valor: When I suggested we play doctor, this was not the scenario I had in mind.

Miss Pretty: *disapproves of Valor's extremely blue underpants*

Florence, it's four a.m., everyone is asleep except for you and Valor.

Florence: Grilled cheese does not sleep.

Florence: You ready to 'punch in', bubba?

Well, that'd be fine, except we don't have a lamp. we?


Fine. Off to the traditional spot with you.

Oh. How... helpful of you, Tierney.

Though if you just wanted to make a bed, you could've started with your own, rather than the one Florence sleeps in.

Nice to know some traditions will live on, down through the generations. And by 'nice' I mean 'oh god no'.

Bilquis: Tierney, my love!

Tierney: Florence 8)

Little yelling bat will see you out! Later bros.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-02 10:41 pm (UTC)
lovelyxwow: (☂bella;i like your face)
From: [personal profile] lovelyxwow
Oh good lord, I cannot believe that tradition lives on. o.o

BUT. I'm excited to see double heirs! Should be interesting. :) I'm very glad Sheldon joined the family.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-02 11:43 pm (UTC)
neuroticrobotic: (Default)
From: [personal profile] neuroticrobotic
Oh my gosh! I didn't realize how much I missed Florence and her her incredible mouth-breathing ways. *loves her and her mysterious relationship to Santa*
I'm also very, very happy to see that Rozz got his man in the end. May they have adorable, karaoke-crazy ginger children together. <3

I cannot imagine what kind of chaos will ensue due to double heir-ness, but I am excited to find out! :3

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-03 12:18 am (UTC)
oph3lia: (Default)
From: [personal profile] oph3lia
It wouldn't be the fritters without inappropriate stalking XD

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-04 02:20 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Dear Azaya,

I love your pictures and looove your commentary; the boner one had me cracking up. Seriously. ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2012-02-06 11:41 pm (UTC)
pink77punk: (Default)
From: [personal profile] pink77punk
Ah, I found this legacy again. Love the update. :D

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