(no subject)

Sep. 19th, 2017 04:24 am
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
[personal profile] harpers_child
3 card pull. Shuffled a couple times and took the top 3.

the sorcerer, the shadow of the past, the fixer

that's a jumble and not helpful. Odd for this deck.

Took bottom 3 cards off the deck.

the lady of sorrows, the challenge, the leaving

There's the brick to the face I'm used to.
Letting Go. Go For It. Moving Forward.

Whelp. Now I know the thing I've been thinking about is correct. It's painful so I'm not talking about it. One of those things that suck super hard.
pooklet: brown recluse spider man happily wedged into a crevice. (ooh a crevice.)
[personal profile] pooklet


Hello! The next legacy update should be soon but in the interim I wanted to offer a thing. It's not very exciting, but I personally hate building dorms, so maybe it will be helpful to others who feel similarly? This was the dorm used for the Fiebelkorns in gen 4, and will also be used for the Cakebreads in gen 3.

pics, notes & download link )

(no subject)

Sep. 14th, 2017 12:45 am
harpers_child: i gave in and ate five rotten applecores from the tree of knowledge  (five rotten applecores)
[personal profile] harpers_child
1. I spent a good chunk of today reading 50ish pages of http://www.sublimemercies.com/ Which is a disabled style blog run by a CSA survivor who was disabled by her sexual abuse. So. Be aware of that because it comes up often as Charlotte talks because her mental and physical disabilities are part of her life. Excellent style blog with an emphasis on cane and scooter fashion realities. Charlotte has an enviable collection of vintage jewelry and does good work connecting her style inspiration to real world pictures. She talks a lot about her belief in god and her faith, but it's very relateable and has no preachyness to it.

2. My sleep cycle has settled into get sleepy about 4am, go to bed, fall asleep about 5am, wake briefly for my goodbye kiss at 10:30, and wake up between 1 and 1:30. It's doing terrible things to my ability to track time. (Questionable on a good day.) I'm only keeping track of days at all because of game night.

3. The weather is changing just enough to make every joint in my body hurt and give me migraines. Hasn't cooled off enough to feel any difference.

(no subject)

Sep. 8th, 2017 01:41 am
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
[personal profile] harpers_child
1. Anyone want to look at a really cool rug? It's one my grandparents had made when they lived in Ecuador. My parents currently have it in storage. The edge needs to be redone before it can be used again. http://harpergetsfannish.tumblr.com/post/165084794043/bomberqueen17-a-couple-months-back-you-were

2. Middle sister is coming in town. Impromptu zoo trip with Mom and B is planned for tomorrow. (Friday.)

3. I really need to remember to call in the refill for my muscle relaxer. And maybe make an orthopedist appointment to have my right shoulder poked at. Of course the only thing I have to offer Dr.B is that something doesn't feel right. Best I can tell something is strained or inflamed or something between the socket and the shoulder blade. (Jeez. How many times can I use "something" in a paragraph.)

NL Neontrix Bar Fix

Sep. 6th, 2017 08:27 pm
slig: A Slig from the Oddworld game, the moon behind it, a landmine in front of it (Default)
[personal profile] slig
CEP Maxis Neontrix Bar Fix Sims2

If you have the CEP then your Neontrix bar most likely looks like shastakiss' bar does. I've remapped it. The file needs to go in your zCEP-Extra folder in Documents.

Download -
http://www.simfileshare.net/download/313455/

(no subject)

Sep. 5th, 2017 11:36 pm
harpers_child: melaka fray reading from "Tales of the Slayers". (Default)
[personal profile] harpers_child
The current hurricanes are hitting my PTSD in ways that are making it hard to engage.

Not sure if I ever said as much online, but Katrina was the emotional turmoil that made me leave an abusive partner.

I was evacuated to Memphis. He lived in Lake Charles. He wanted me to get on a bus to go visit him 2 days after Katrina hit when I didn't know if my house still existed. And then he started picking fights over the phone. Then Rita happened. My cousin and I drove down to Baton Rouge because her classes had moved to LSU. I stayed with various friends there. And the great New Orleans Expatriate Drinking Tour occurred. And the fight where I was in Denver standing on the sidewalk with an apartment full of friends behind me where mysteriously his phone ran out of battery when I stopped placating and started fighting back. And learning vodka and chinese food don't mix. I broke up with him standing in a sub shop on Staten Island when our flight home had been delayed because I had had enough. I was done.

But to this day I don't know if I would have hit that point if Katrina and all the emotional shit it brought had occurred. If D (who's from Gentilly didn't know that he and his mom lost almost everything) didn't hug me for like an hour after that big fight. N and W who told me it was okay to not answer C's calls and actively distracted me when they happened. N's mom who let a bunch of kids she didn't know come sleep on her floor and run around NYC on her transit pass for a week.

Because C never hit me. Because it took years for me to call what he did rape. (Which it was. Oh gods, was it. What else would you call triggering a disassociative state so you can have sex with a person who'd already told you no? And I don't know if it was on purpose or something he did on accident, but it was wrong.) It took a catastrophe of that scale to jar me loose from the emotional and mental state I was in.

I was very purposefully single for a year after I broke up with C.

I had shit to deal with. Later on when I went to therapy for other older shit my therapist was impressed with how little baggage I took out of my relationship with C. Lessons learned. Tools used. Those I took with me. But I left the bullshit and I don't let him live in my head.

looking at pictures of flooded streets, looking at pleas for charitable donations, watching spaghetti models, and storm projections ... All that? Brings me right back to that vulnerable state. And it sucks.

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