sixtylilies: a stick figure of a person with a big smile holding a book and saying, "this shit is crazy!" (Default)
[personal profile] sixtylilies

Carry on my wayward 'crumbs, you're at peace cuz you are dumb

If it pleases the internet, observe here the Gashlycrumb heir on honeymoon vacation. I sent Winnie and Tish to Pincushion Island, which you may remember from the Fritter legacy as being a closed werewolf community only open to family. Since the Gashlycrumbs are now related to the Fritters, I decided that was good enough and packed them off.

Tourguide von Paperwhite: Mm, I smell suckers.

I smell something too

Is somebody making soup?

Oh. Nope.

Well, pregnancy is gonna put a damper on the honeymoon for sure, since babies can't be born on vacation. Sorry, Tish :\

Tish: I guess the pregnancy cravings are setting in, cuz I'd murder everyone in this restaurant for some Tru Blood.

Winnie: I know xe doesn't mean it and even if xe did I would be spared but I'm just gonna stand over here for awhile

How's it going, Wins? Safely un-murdered?

Winnie: Aye aye, Overlord!

Tish: Winnie, you haven't seen my claw hammer, have you? I was sure I packed it for the trip.

Let's go to the beach.

Awww, hi, Magenta Fritter who lives here now!! You were so nearly the heir of your generation. (Or failing that, spouse.)

Tish: Hot diggety dogs!

Winnie: Hot... burnity burnstick.

Poor Winnie never did get to learn the fire dance properly, though. The douchey instructor wandered off the lot before she was finished and he never came back.

Tish: This is a baller hot spring. How come we don't have one of these at home?

Hm. I guess I could take that into conside—

Tish: I wasn't asking for one, I was asking why we don't have one now.

Um, I guess cuz to be honest I kinda forget a lot of the BV stuff is a thing until I actually go to make vacation lots? Is that acceptable?


Hey guys, I know you're on your honeymoon and all, but you know what I would love to avoid? Concurrent pregnancies.

Everybody was kung fur fightiiing, that fur was soft as— nope? Okay. Sorry.

Winnie, it's not a good idea to go around poking werewolves in the chin. Even when they're not currently fursploded. Okay?

Cousin Leopold the Poked: HA! I've gotten my revenge and then some just standing here observing. Her technique is laughable.

It is not at all surprising that you are a Fritter, Cousin Leopold.

I thought this was a really nice, atmospheric picture until I noticed Tish the fuck machine thinking about the last time xe and Winnie banged.

Winnie: Mmmm. Ohhh. Oh, baby.

Tish: You're thinking about it too, aren't you? I can tell.

Winnie and Tish: We are fucking beachgoers. We do beachgoer things.

Winnie: This suntan lotion feels so good on my skin!

Winnie: Now to stretch out and enjoy the sumphf.

At the Flapjack Shack, the newlyweds downed three chicken pot pies apiece, and it looks like Cousin Leopold isn't done with Winnie yet.

Winnie: Bring it on, Jacob Black. My wedding ring's pure sterling silver.

It was about then that I decided the best thing for it was to send them home and not drag out Tish's pregnancy any longer, given that every day they spend here is another extra day I have to deal with a pregnant sim.

What the hell is THIS


Jemdress McBlondefro: Hey, Winnie! Welcome home! How was your vacation?

Winnie: Who the blistering fuck are you?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch bowling alley, Xena feeds her wife's insatiable appetite for some down-and-dirty public genital slapping.

Theda: Listen here, I'm not insatiable. I just went into platinum mood, okay?

Theda: I'm only doing this because making beds puts me in the Zone. It has nothing to do with my thirst to observe people in the throes of passion.

You know, I never quite knew before how you were related to Almond, but I see it now. And I can't unsee it.

Theda: Oh dude it was HILARIOUS. Winnie uses her tongue like she's punishing Tish for having a mouth.

Wallace: Hahaha, sick!

Whisper: Hey.

Tish: Hey.

Whisper: I baked a muffin.

Tish: Do you live here or something?

Xena: Congrats on reaching lifetime permaplat!

Xena: Congrats on reaching lifetime permaplat!

Xena: Congrats on reaching lifetime permaplat!

She did this for hours. Now I remember why I ordinarily have a No Congratulating hack.

Tish: plorp

Wallace: I love playing rock paper scissors with you, Mom, but do we have to do it directly adjacent to the beehives? Being this close to a redwood forest of beestings is breaking my concentration.

Xena: Don't be such a limp lettuce, pull up your underpants, and rock paper scissors shoot.

Winnie and Tish: *fawn, giggle, cascade of sickening adoration*

Xena: Aw, c'mon, Wallace! Come on. Come on.

Wallace: Piss off, Mom. You called me a limp lettuce. A LIMP. LETTUCE.

Xena: What can I say, sonny, I call 'em like I see 'em. Don't like the lettuce, get out of the crisper drawer.



Winnie: Lol idk. I was gettin' some.

Lettuce Wallace: *chews*

What's up, Theda? What's shaking? What's the haps?


Theda: *whistles a jaunty tune*

Xena: EEP! Th-Theda, how'd you goose me through the closet door?

Theda: One of the perks of being married to a supreme witch being, babe. Just enjoy.

Seriously. I am ready to punch you both in the throat, I swear to God

What are you grinning about, you stupid boogerface? God you two suck

Tish: Here, lover, let me rub your back. It's hard work carrying a baby around! I bet your shoulders are really tense.

Aww. I totally lied, you guys are precious fluffernutters.

Becoming an old lady hasn't slowed Theda's libido in the slightest, as evidenced. Exhibit A, Theda and Xena off on public fuck quest the eighty-seventh.

Their intended victim this time? The drive-in movie theater, because if you're going to bone where everyone can see, you might as well really bone where everyone can see.

Whirr Ping Naked Click: FLOWERS

Xena and Theda: No problem, Overlord. We got this.

Theda: That was sexsational.

Oh come on, you're not even trying! Why not fuckbulous? Unbelievabone? Something.

Winnie roleplays the thrilling, edge-of-your-seat adventures of Pansy the pregnant pirate queen.

Winnie: Pansy's not really pregnant. She just uses it as a disguise to smuggle in contraband booty!

Whisper: How chess


Xena: Hey, it beats shit out of 'Happy Birthday', I'll say that!

They're both looking pretty baller, if I do say so myself.

They concur.

Oh thank fuck, baby time.

Theda: Heya Trish! Heya, human baby! Looking good, y'all.

Tish: It's Tish, and are you sure it's safe to phase your arm through me when I'm holding a baby?

Theda: Psh, yeah! Of course it is. Shaddap.

Winnie: Help ow

The firstborn not-twins of generation 6! This is Velvet.

And Victor, whose name was cunningly spoiled two pictures ago.

Wallace: Fuck everyone in this house who's better at rock paper scissors than me! Just fuck all of you. Fuck.

Theda: Okay, can do, where's your mom

Wallace: Hahaha! Siiiick.

Theda: I wasn't joking.

Wallace: Row faster, lads! 'Tis our only hope of escaping the vile and terrible thoughts Mom put into our heads!

So, long story short, Whisper grew up, he was just too ugly to bear, so I put this mask on him and he became one of my favorite sims just like that.

Whisper: Hey guys, what's going on in this room

Whisper: This chess.

Whisper: ヽ(๏∀๏ )ノ

Whisper: (☞゚∀゚)☞

Theda: I love this. Let's never do anything but this ever again.

Xena: That is a realistic and attainable goal.

Tish: *dreams romantic dreams of xir spouse*

Victor: Fascinating. Where does this hole lead to? We must mount an expedition at once.

Winnie: Aye, laddies, Pansy's givin' up the pregnancy ruse. That last caper in Solstheim was cuttin' it way too close for me likin'.

Well, this is cozy.

Whisper: This chess! I am master chess.


Victor: Fascinating, Tony! Tell me more of the shadow realm in which you walk.

Velvet: I worry about that boy sometimes, I really do.


Tish: See, Victor, with the water coming from two sources, you'll get twice as clean? What do you think of that, eh?

Winnie: Yes, Tish, that worked marvelously. Marvelously.

Velvet: Mommy, Mommy, let me help, let me!

Winnie: damn it

The Sims 2: Go to school

Whisper: Naw.

The Sims 2: Go to school


Winnie: Shitsnacks. I think I'm incubating.

Wallace: Ugh. Don't be a zit. Please don't be a zit. Come on, I bathe all the time! Like just last month I bathed!

Wallace: Hmmmmmm... nope! Flawless as always.

Whisper: Aw come on, what the fuck? What do you mean I can't use this counter when Tish is already using the counter? Do you really think someone like me is limited to mortal laws of time and space?

The Sims 2: Yes

Wallace: Ahoy, me fellow clear-skinned mateys!


Whisper: Am master chess.

Frankendress: Mind if I lurk?

Theda and Xena: On the contrary, we'd be offended if you didn't.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-06-22 06:28 pm (UTC)
pyrrhocorax: a furret has a pink flower behind her ear (Default)
From: [personal profile] pyrrhocorax
I'm so glad Whisper found his inner furry.


Date: 2014-07-06 01:39 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
WCIF Tish'es everyday outfit/separates? DAMN that's a cute outfit (on a cute Sim in a RAD AS FUCK story)

(no subject)

Date: 2015-01-09 11:47 am (UTC)
pooklet: sexy batman purring and swiping. (SEXY.)
From: [personal profile] pooklet
catman on the prowl

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