sixtylilies: a person reading a magazine entitled brooding hunx and giving no fucks. (oh like you wouldn't read it)
[personal profile] sixtylilies


More 'crumbs, by special request from [personal profile] pooklet, whose mighty will I cannot deny.


Xerxes: Is... is it happening? Is it finally happening? IT IS! I'm reaching adulthood! The glorious, shining throne of heirship is within reach at last!


Nope.

I mean, don't get me wrong, Xerk. You turned out really good! I've just gotta go with someone else.

Xerxes: Damn and blast.


Xerxes: I guess only the booby prize of languishing forever in the sim bin is within my grasp. :(

Heh heh. Heh. 'Booby'.


Yusef: *gazes lovingly at Elspeth*

Elspeth: *gazes lovingly at her own rack*


Xochitl: With Xerxes gone, it's down to the two of us! Way to go, Xena!

Xena: Same!

Well, technically there's also Xavier, but yeah, let's not even pretend. It's gonna be one of you two.


I mean, all he does ever is ride around on the roundabout, which is funny, but one trick does not an heir make.

Xavier: WHOOOOOO, I'M GONNA PUKE SO MUCH

Well, it's good to have goals!


Yusef: I too have won the booby prize.

Okay, but that's not... you know, whatever, go ahead.


Xavier: MAXIMUM SUNNIFICATION ACHIEVED


Xochitl: If I'm heir, I think I'll make this face a lot.

Xena: Don't you think that might hurt your case?

Nah.


Xavier: I'M NEVER GOING INSIDE AGAIN


Xena: Something weird's happening to my insides. Is it cramps? I think it might be cramps.


Xena: HELL YEAH, NOT CRAMPS!


Hell yeah, you're fucking gorgeous.


And to the Coffin Bean we go, so Xena can start scouting for a mate, because I don't think Alien Friend was all that interested when we tried dating her.

Xena: This coffee is totally made from real coffins.


Xena: I mean, I guess it could be imitation coffins, but if so, they've really nailed that fresh-ground coffin taste.

You don't really understand what coffee is, do you?


Drunk Sabrina: Meeting new people sucks. That's the whole problem with the world these days. Meeting new people! You should just come into life already knowing everyone. Buy you a drink?

Xena: Please don't. D:


Xena: Hey hottie. Buy me a drink?

Theda Fritter: Hee. All right :">


Xena: I'm lonely and looking for love.

Theda: A cute hunk of lady like you, lonely? That can't be!


Xena: This was a love connection.

Theda Fritter, huh? I wouldn't have thought it, but I like it!


Xena: Books. :|


Theda came by the next day and they made eyes at each other. This pleases me! I always liked Theda a lot in her generation of the Fritters. It was simply her misfortune to be born in the same generation as Winona.


Xena: You know who's just too hot to handle? Giratina Fiebelkorn.

Theda: YES.


Their total agreement on the issue of Giratina Fiebelkorn's hotness was the catalyst for epic liplocking. True romance.


Theda: Nice bed!

Xena: Don't say it's your parents', don't say it's your parents'... Thanks! I was conceived here. DAMMIT.


Theda: Really? Like every member of my family has screwed on their parents' bed at some point, so that makes me feel right at home.

Xena: I aim to please!


Yusef: Strange. I could have sworn I made the bed this morning, and neither Elspeth nor I have been in it since...

Theda: lol


Romance is dancing in your lover's parents' bedroom after defiling their bed.


Theda: Need a push?

Xavier: That's okay! Your hands smell funny.


And this was where I became aware of a problem; namely, Theda was already engaged, to someone else. I had entirely forgotten this.


Xavier: Roundabout, promise me we will be like this forever!


Xena's new bedroom! Because, you know. Heir.


I don't think it was any big secret or anything.


Xena: I have so many people to thank for this honor! First, my duckface.


So I took care of that pesky prior engagement thing.

Theda: Yay!

On another note, less than three thousand dollars, Theda? Really? You're a Fritter. They're like quadrillionaires.


Xena: This time I've got my own bed, baby. We can even hook some handcuffs onto it, if you want.


Elspeth: Oh... that's where my handcuffs went.


Oh, no. Oh, no. Did the mother-in-law curse escape from the Fritters and find its way to the Gashlycrumbs?!

Elspeth: Naw, I'm just checking out that blanket on the bed. Cuuuute.


What're you looking so smug about, missy?

Xena: Just christened the closet.


Did you, now.

Theda: Oh, hell yeah we did. I wouldn't go in there for an hour or two.


Xena: Back for more?

Theda: You know it.


Yusef: But... but those are my handcuffs.

Why are you in your underwear?

Yusef: They are too. I thought it was the dress code in this room.


Yusef: Wow, that blanket really is something special.


D8

Xochitl... you okay?

Xochitl: Fine! Why do you ask?


Yusef: Ah, I see the new girl's making grilled cheese. Obviously, we are destined to be best friends.


Theda: Gurrrrl, you smell fine.

Xena: I think that's actually the grilled che— I mean, thanks!






Theda: I'm so furious about my broken engagement!

Xena: Care for a new one?

Theda: SQUEEEEE


Yusef: I'm not sure what to think of this duvet cover.




Elspeth: Are you girls really set on this wallpaper? Because I have some samples I think you should look at.


Elspeth: Theda <3

I FUCKING KNEW IT.


Theda: smulp


Elspeth: You okay? You need a towel?


Yusef got old, and his hair got dapper!


The girls: *hug and giggle*

Yusef: Zounds, I can't write in my diary with all this affection taking place around me! And I have so much enthusiasm for the written word!

Elspeth: You okay? You need a white noise machine?


Elspeth: YONKLE WONKLE HEE HAW


You guys ok? You need something to do other than stare at Xena and Theda?


What bwings us togeddah today? Mawage, is what.


A member of Theda's extended family attends the wedding, albeit one she's never met and probably had no idea existed. Hi, Whirr Ping Click Click!

Whirr Ping Click Click: Howdy.


Another member of Theda's extended family showed up, too! Christ.

Almond: Too bad I never got to throw a house party in Theda's love shack.


And then I thought things were going to get really awkward, because Theda's ex-fiancee arrived as well.

Velma Pinhill: Yo.

I didn't feel bad about breaking them up, because Velma destroyed Kriemhild Fritter's marriage to Whirr Ping Click Click. So it just seemed fair.


Anyway, there were no awkward scenes.

Velma: Theda! That dress looks amaaaazing.


Velma: could i get a bite of that cake


Theda: *waddles*


Yusef: You two should really consider putting a neon flamingo on the floor.


Elspeth: Oh, hey Yusef. Did you tell them my idea about the neon flamingo?


Xochitl: *is still around, and still really pretty*


Yusef: You guys, there's still no flamingo in this floor.


Yusef: Ellie, they're totally ignoring your awesome suggestion... Ellie?

Elspeth: Who's a cutie, is it you? It is you! Yes it is!


Elspeth: Under no circumstances should we craft the neon flamingo out of real gold.

Yusef: I agree wholeheartedly.


Almond: Hey Theda, is your underage brother-in-law around?


Elspeth: YONKLE WONKLE HEE HAW


Xavier: My... my god, did I really spend my entire childhood on a merry-go-round?


Elspeth: Did I really spend my hot years shackled to a cheese eater popping out babies?


I put Elspeth in the same dress as elder Tomato for awhile, because I completely forgot Tomato had worn it. It's only weird if you make it weird.


Xavier: That roundabout has a lot to answer for.

Really? Because as I recall, no one forced you to ride it every waking second of your life.


Xochitl: Ever wonder if you missed an opportunity by not hooking up with my sister, Alien Friend?

Alien Friend: My name is Ally, dude.


Theda: Mine's Theda!


My sims always seem to cluster in bathrooms. It seems unwise, but what do I know. It takes me hours to psych myself up enough to get out of bed and go to the bathroom.




Xena: Yeah, I learned some people don't like it when you try to talk to them about rocket ships.

Yusef: I am one of them.

Theda: MOTHER OF GOD WHAT A FUCKING CRAMPSPASM WHAT THE BALLSHIT TITTYCHRISTFUCK


Theda: OH

It's Winnie!

Elspeth: you can make your own best friends out of flour sacks, it's quite therapeutic actually


What a cutie!


What a cutie, part two! Adult Xochitl, just before she struck out on her own all the way to the sim bin


Xena: Aw, tiddlywinks.

What the fuck, though? Xena's a sweetheart.


Yusef: Hi Theda, I was hoping to talk to you for a sec.

Theda: I swear to Mammon, if you start in on that floor flamingo again—


Yusef: It would just have so many uses, though! Illuminating the floor, so you never trip over anything! Being flamingo-shaped, to remind you of flamingos!

Theda: Neon Jesus take the wheel.


Theda: Is... is he gone? He is gone? Hot damn!

Is... is it potty training face? It is? Hot damn!


Ceiling sprinkler: IS THE STOVE ON FIRE? IT IS! HOT DAMN!


One small step for Winnie, another small step for Winniekind


Hanging skeleton: *languishes*

Yusef: *maxin', relaxin'*


Xena: *pregnants*


Theda: *good witches*

Theda is a witch, by the way. I don't think I mentioned that, and while some people might know because Fritters, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone had forgotten because her generation was like two years ago.


Elspeth: This is a really exemplary chair. Fine lumbar support, and it feels nice under my bum.


Elspeth: Now how am I to enjoy another chair ever again?


What better place to write in your diary than at the feet of the long-suffering skeleton that has witnessed too much?


Xavier: Yep, this is a big painting, all right.


Xavier: Writing in my diary, looking at big paintings, soaking my sister-in-law with a water balloon! Ahhh, this is the life!


Theda's magical bee swarm: WRONG.

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